Billboard

Relationship Breakup

CONTACT US

E-mail: counselor@csmd.edu


LA PLATA CAMPUS

Ann Penick, MA, LCPC, NCC
Administration (AD) Building, Room 205
Phone: 301-934-7577
Email:  APenick@csmd.edu


LEONARDTOWN CAMPUS

Jennifer Fossell, LCSW-C
Building A, Room 204E
Phone: 240-725-5328
Email:  jfossell@csmd.edu


PRINCE FREDERICK CAMPUS

Jennifer Fossell, LCSW-C
Building B, Room 109B
Phone: 443-550-6169
Email: jfossell@csmd.edu

Ending a relationship, be it a marriage or not, is one of the most avoided and feared human experiences. As a culture, we have no clear-cut rituals for ending relationships or saying good-bye to someone whom we have valued. We often find ourselves unprepared for the variety of feelings we experience in the process. Remember: It IS a grieving process! You are experiencing the loss of a love. The good news is that, in time, and if need be, with counseling, you WILL be able to move on!

Types of normal reactions to a breakup

Anger: We are angry and often enraged at our spouse or partner for shaking our world to its core.

Bargaining: We plead with our spouse or partner to give us a chance, saying things like, “Don’t go!” or “I’ll change this and I’ll change that if only you’ll stay!”  Please know there will be an ending to the pain, the fighting, the torment, and the lifelessness of the relationship as the healing process begins. With patience, eventually we will be able to move on and to engage in other relationships.

Denial: We can’t believe that this is happening to us and that the relationship is over.

Disorientation and Confusion: We don’t know who or where we are anymore. Our familiar world has been shaken. We may feel we’ve lost our way.

Fear: We are frightened by the intensity of our feelings. We are concerned that we may never love or be loved again. We wonder if we can even survive this loss.

Guilt: We feel guilty, particularly if we’re the ones who choose to end the relationship. We don’t want to hurt our spouse or partner, yet we don’t want to stay in what has become a lifeless relationship.

Hope: Initially we may fantasize that there will be a reconciliation, that the parting is only temporary, and that he or she will return to us. As we heal and accept reality of the ending, we begin to hope for a newer and better world for ourselves.

Self-blame: We blame ourselves for what went wrong. We replay our relationship over and over, thinking or even saying, “If only I had done this. If only I had done that.” Sadness: We cry, sometimes for what seems an eternity because this is a loss.